just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
