Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize