i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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