Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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