I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
