you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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