Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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