my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
