About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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