i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
