wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
