I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
