i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
