Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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