I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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