She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
