We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
