I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
