Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
