i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
