you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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