Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
