I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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