Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
