Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
