after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
