there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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