I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
