Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
this hospital has no fireball
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
