I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
