Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
