it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The uberlube is also flammable
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
