return my video game
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
