If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
