So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
vagina is talking i cant
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize