Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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