Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
