So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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