I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
