$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
