those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
