Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
