i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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