i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
