i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
