I'm drive I can fine osifer
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
