I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
