i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize