this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
