Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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