Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
