How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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