Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
