My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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