Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
