big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
