YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
