It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
