i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
