I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
