I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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