you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
