If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize